It is ironic how the timing of things in our lives works. The day after we started this second round of medicine David received an email saying that he had been accepted to the Savannah College of Art and Design (SCAD) in Savannah, Georgia. Shortly after he was offered a scholarship to the school. We now had to decide if it was the right thing to accept the offer and move across the country. Even though I was still working, the Christmas season had started, and we had this big decision to make, I was all wrapped up in wondering if this round would be successful.
After what probably felt like an eternity, the day of the ultrasound finally came. David must have been working that day because I went to the appointment alone. I was nervous and anxious as I sat in the waiting room and when I was called back and got ready for the ultrasound to be performed. My nervousness was soon turned to excitement as the ultrasound tech told me that the medicine was successful. Not only was it successful but the medicine had stimulated 3 follicles that could possibly be fertilized! She excitedly showed me on the screen where these were. The thought of possibly having multiples definitely entered my mind! Oh the joy and hope that filled my heart. The thought and feeling that, "This could be it" came over me.
I was then given instructions on how to proceed. I was told to give myself a shot of a medicine called HCG. This medicine would help force my body to ovulate. I was also given specific instructions on the time frame in which my hubs and I should try and make a baby. I was then instructed to start using progesterone suppositories (oh what fun those were) afterwards to help with implantation. I was also told to go in and get a blood test taken around two weeks later to check my HCG levels. This is the hormone that detects whether or not you are pregnant.
I was so overcome with positive emotion when I left there that day. I probably cried tears of joy on the way home this time. I excitedly told David the good news and we got to work following the instructions I was given. I was nervous for the HCG shot because I had always been afraid of needles and didn't really want to have to give myself a shot. David was so thoughtful and was willing to give me the shot. He did such a great job. I hardly even felt it!!
After all the tasks were competed all that was left for us to do was wait. I remember praying that if it was the right thing for us to get pregnant, that if it was the Lord's will, then please bless that it would happen. I started feeling like it was going to happen and before long I started experiencing one sign of pregnancy, sore and tender breasts. I thought that if I were this sore then I must have pregnant. *Side note: I have realized how naive I was. Remember, they gave me progesterone to help with implantation? I was still using it and one side effect of this medicine is breast tenderness! The progesterone was totally affecting this! As the days went by I continued to get more sore and just felt in my heart that I was pregnant.
The day of the HCG test arrived. This day, Friday December 21st, will always be one that I remember. I had the blood test done around 11 that morning and was told that they would call me in a little while with the results. Later in the day when I went to the bathroom I noticed that I was lightly spotting. "Oh no, my period is starting. I guess I'm not pregnant," I thought. A roller coaster of thoughts and emotions started. I really thought I was pregnant. If my chest was this sore I must have been. Then I thought that maybe they had been sore because my period was about to start. I was so disappointed and bummed. I told David that it looked like my period was starting and we prepared ourselves for the doctor to tell us we weren't pregnant.
I will forever remember the moment when we got the call with the test results. We were in the car driving to my grandpa's house. When my phone rang I braced myself for disappointing news. The doctor proceeded to tell us that my blood test results indicated that I was indeed pregnant. She did say that the HCG levels were low and that they would need to take another blood test the following week to see if the HCG levels were rising. I told the doctor that I had started spotting that afternoon. She advised me that I should continue taking the progesterone and to rest as much as possible with my feet up. Since the following Monday was Christmas Eve and their office would be closed I instructed to come back in the day after Christmas for the blood test. After receiving the doctor's instructions I thanked her and hung up the phone.
Once again a wave of emotions hit me. It is hard to describe the conflicting feelings I had. I was surprised at what I had just been told, but in a way I wasn't really that shocked. I had felt deep inside that I was pregnant. I was excited but not as excited and happy as I should have been. I don't think I fully comprehended it at the time but I think deep down I knew that something wasn't right. If I was pregnant, then why had I started bleeding? Pushing those feelings aside I started thinking. Wow, things are starting to move forward for us and seem to be working out so nicely. David got accepted to school, we are moving, and now we are pregnant! My sister was right, there were big things in store for us. Our next big adventure was finally starting to begin. Yes, an adventure was beginning but little did I know then that the journey would turn out completely different than I expected. Once again, the Lord's had a different plan in mind.
I followed the doctor's instructions and spend most of the next few days with my feet up. I wanted to tell my mom that I was pregnant. I remember taking a pregnancy test, putting it in a gift box, and having my mom open it. I told her that I was indeed pregnant but that I was bleeding and was told to keep my feet up. She reminded me that one of my sisters, Suzi, had bled while being pregnant and that I should talk to her. I decided I would and then lay back down. The revealing of this big news didn't go as well as I had planned. Not knowing why I was bleeding was leaving me feeling anxious and worried. Talking to my sister helped calm my nerves a little. She told me that one of her friends bled a lot during her pregnancy and she ended up having twins. I remember her telling me that I could be having twins. The thought had definitely crossed my mind. I felt that she very well could be right. Once again, I was immensely grateful to be blessed to have a sister who could lend me comfort and advice in my time of need.
The next few days were crazy and really a bit of a blur. I remember laying on a futon in my parent's living room while David worked hard getting us ready to move. We had already packed up and stored the things we weren't taking with us to Georgia. Since we would be having family celebrations for the holidays, we decided to just stay at my parents house until the day we planned to leave, which was the day after Christmas. Since I had only told my mom and one of my sisters that I was pregnant, it was a bit awkward having to lie around with my feet up without everyone knowing why. I didn't want to announce that I was pregnant until I had reached a more secure date in the pregnancy.
Before we knew it, the day after Christmas, the day of my next blood test, and the day we would begin our trek over to Georgia came. I went to the clinic early that morning for the test. I remember telling the lady who took my blood that I had started bleeding. She told me that lots of woman bleed during their pregnancies and that I shouldn't worry. That helped calm my fears a little more. I think the doctor's office wanted me to schedule another blood test but I told them that we were moving that day. The doctor gave me an order request form for another HCG blood test which she said I should have done within the next few days and have the results sent to them. I was also instructed to keep using the progesterone suppositories. I was worried that I might not have enough to make it until we had a new address where I could have some shipped to me from the pharmacy company. The doctor was nice enough to give me some extra boxes just in case.
The ladies at the clinic were quite surprised to hear that we were moving that day. While I had been in the clinic it had started snowing a lot! They wished me luck with everything and I was on my way.
I was nervous as I drove back to my parents house. The snow sure was coming down. In fact, it snow so much that we had to delay leaving for several hours. My cousin, Nikki, who was helping us drive across the country, and I started to get antsy as we waited for the storm to let up so we could leave. David was frantically trying to pack up and load the car. At last, we were loaded and the roads cleared up enough that we felt comfortable enough to leave.
Little did I know that as we set off down that cold, white, snowy Utah highway that we were headed straight into a blizzard. Both a literal blizzard, and a whirlwind of mental, emotional, and physical turmoil.
No comments:
Post a Comment